A Diamond in the Rough

I can’t stand Jodi from Total Wrecklamation (Planet Green) – way too high energy. But today at the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store, I felt a little of the thrill her bidders must get when they get a great bargain at her auctions.

Habitat for Humanity accepts donations of useful-to-someone (but no-longer-useful-to-you) home fixtures (e.g. doors, lights, appliances, etc.) which they sell to fund their good works. In return, you get a receipt that will likely do nothing to offset your tax obligation and the warm feeling that comes from having done something charitable. Or in this case, a vague feeling of guilt for having pawned the ugliest of sinks off on to someone else.

Dad and I went to drop off the gold chandelier, the gold ceiling fan, and the horrible black clamshell sink from the powder room. (For those of you who were hoping to snag the sink for yourselves, don’t worry: I have two more, available in late summer.)

My father, who has always left a junkyard with his trunk more full than when he arrived, suggested we check out the merchandise while we were there. I was skeptical. The Re-Store sells everything from mismatched tiles to 18-piece kitchen cabinet sets, and most of it is junk, much like what we had just deposited at the loading dock.

HOWEVER (obviously this story has to have a turning point)…, as we were browsing through the sinks (and, incidentally, witnessed my powder room orphan being loaded onto a shelf, where it will probably stay for eternity), I found a diamond in the rough: a 35 square foot L-shaped LG HiMacs solid surface countertop with a built-in sink (retails for about $2,500) for $175! (I realize I sound like Ralphie from A Christmas Story describing the Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing that tells time.)

The volunteer teenagers at Habitat helped us load it onto the truck, but unloading it was all up to us… So here’s how it went:

Off the truck, up the stairs, through the living room (sorry, I was too busy lifting my half to take pictures) and onto the porch and tied to a rope…

…the rope was wound around a stud which was screwed to the door-frame…

…flipped over the porch…

…lowered down…

…onto the ground…

…and into the basement…

... where we hoped we could install it with the neighbors being none the wiser. In fact, to keep them in the dark, we considered executing this operation under the cloak of night, but worried we might drop the countertop and break it. So, instead, we figured the day's low temperatures would drive most of my neighbors in off their porches and we lowered the sink and all in complete silence, miming directions to each other. But as I walked back up the steps, I noticed my neighbor John, sitting on his patio, sipping his wine, enjoying the show.